


I know what you want

by capsmightyshield



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Aftercare, Awesome Jarvis (Iron Man movies), BDSM, Bathing/Washing, Dom!Bruce, Dom!Bucky, Dom!Tony, Dom/sub, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, Multi, Open Relationships, Platonic BDSM, Polyamory, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Stony - Freeform, Uncle Clint Barton, Wetting, being a captain is hard ass work, canon divergent from the happenings after civil war, dom!sam wilson, everyone loves steve 'cause he's a lovable ass guy, everyone treats steve with love and respect, in which steve didn't run away Bucky's fine and everyone lives in avengers tower, little!steve, not sure if polyamory or open relationship so we'll tag both, steve needs to let go sometimes, sub!Steve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 01:06:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14801417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capsmightyshield/pseuds/capsmightyshield
Summary: Sometimes Steve just needs to let go and not every time Tony can give him what he needs.  Steve seeks out help from his fellow friends and avengers who are all too happy to help out their favorite Captain.or 5 times Steve needed to be taken apart and the one time he got put back together.





	I know what you want

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me the other night when I was reading through some BDSM for Stony and some Thorki. I thought to myself what if Steve sort of belonged to all of the Avengers even though he was technically Tony's boyfriend? That's where this fic came along. Anyway it's been awhile so be gentle. This is unbetad so any mess ups are my own enjoy!
> 
> aka the time I inspo with motivation to hopefully actually finish this fic ;-;

The mission had, had some casualties and everyone knew what that meant.  They could see it in the way Steve's shoulders slumped as they boarded the jet towards the tower.  Despite his talk and knowing that not ever mission would be a clean one, it still bothered him.  Losing civilians just didn't sit well with him and it probably never would.  He was used to casualties of war, losing friends, even losing loved ones due to sickness and disease.  However, when it came to the loss of civilian life on a mission in which he had sworn to protect them, it made his skin crawl with sadness.  It was like a rain cloud pouring down over him, the cold and disappointment seeping into his skin and feezing him to the bone.  The way they looked as their clean up crew came to take them away, white sheets flying everywhere, family members crying and cursing them, and as well they should be, was always his thought.  They were meant to protect the world, or at the very least the city and when people died, he felt like he'd failed that mission.  New York was his home, always had been and that made things even worse.  It settled into him like an itch he couldn't scratch, a feeling of wanting to peel his uniform off and the skin that he was in and just rinse it all away and start anew.  However he knew that wasn't an option.  He could hear the team whispering, knew they were talking about him and could probably figure out what they were talking about if he were interested in being any place but his own head.  Tony always told him that would be his downfall, himself, but sometimes, especially these times, he just couldn't help it.  All he wanted to do was see life brought back into the eyes of the people who weren't as lucky or fortunate as they were now.

The edges of his thoughts blurred out softly when he felt a familiar metal hand on the back of his neck.  He didn't move his head and continued to look down, eyes staring at the red boots that adorned his feet.  He knew who it was, a different metal than the one Tony's suit was made out of, but still familiar all the same.  The hand was a solid weight on his neck, grounding him giving him an anchor to grab onto and try to pull himself back into the present.  It didn't grab or dig, it just sat there on the back of his neck and he let out a long breath knowing what was coming but not really wanting to hear it at the moment.  He knew though that he had to listen it was part of the deal.  If one of them talked to him, he listened intently no matter if he wanted to hear the placation or not.  He knew it was for his own good, but that also didn't make it fun, when it was in this sort of situation.

"Now that I've got your ears, Punk.  You're doing it again, we can all hear you brooding extraordinarily loud.  Louder than me and you know me, I brood as loud as Tony plays music in the lab," Bucky finally spoke, knowing he had Steve's attention.  They never required he look at them, not right now anyway.  Other times yes eye contact was important but now he was just supposed to listen.  "No one blames you Stevie.  I'm not sure why you beat yourself up every time things like this happen.  You know better than any of us that you can't save everyone.  We just wish you'd give yourself a break."  Bucky's voice was low on this part.  Low enough that Steve could hear and if anyone was straining to listen in they could probably hear it too.  Steve just grumbled incoherently.  No real words spoken, just a grumble of unhappiness, discontent, and slight anger.  He was angry at himself and while he knew everything Bucky had said was true, that didn't mean it made him feel any better in the moment.  He sighed again, letting his shoulders sag as he tried to stay hold to the anchor that Bucky had cast out with his hand on the back of his neck.  It took everything in him to stay focused on it and not drown himself in his own thoughts even more.

"Steve do you need to see Natasha tonight?" The voice this time was Tony's, coming from the front of the plan.  He had heard him speaking with JARVIS but hadn't exactly been paying attention.  He shook his head and when he felt a slight dig of a thumb into the side of his neck he opened his mouth.

"No... I'm fine, guys really."  If looks had a sound the one of disbelief would have been sounding loudly across the jet.  Everyone knew he was lying, he knew he was lying but it was always hard to admit what he wanted, what he needed when he needed it.  He felt silly for letting the casualties of the mission get him so worked up in the first place, but he couldn’t help it, it always ended up this way.  The only difference between then and now was that now he had a team who knew exactly what it took to set him straight again, even when he felt like he didn’t deserve it.

“Lying are we?” He heard Tony ask and he knew he shouldn’t have but they knew he didn’t want to feel like a burden... to anyone.  Nat had put in an intense amount of work in, just like he had, like they all had.  She probably wanted to just relax, even though he wasn’t sure if she did that sort of thing or not.  If he were honest, she was so quiet and to herself except for on missions and during team meals, that he was positive she spent more time out of the tower than anyone really knew about, save for probably Clint.

“No... I mean...” He trailed off not wanting to say it.  He knew they hated hearing it because they all knew he wasn’t a burden at all.  When he got in his moods though, he felt like it.  He suppose that’s why he needed them all for the various things they did for him.  To remind him that he wasn’t a burden to anyone and they did it because they cared about him and wanted him to be alright.

“Oh, Tony let him have a minute.  You know how he is, he’ll come around though.”  This time it was Nat’s voice he heard, sticking up for him, and she was also right.  He always came around eventually he just needed to get out of his head enough to be able to do so.

They had been on a mission out of the country so by the time Clint, who had taken over for Tony, pulled them into the tower’s hangar everyone was feeling a bit stiff and ready to pack it up for the night.  Bucky had stuck close to him, his metal hand staying put, cool and firm on the back of his neck.  He hadn’t even noticed he’d sagged into his best friend until they pulled in and he had to sit up.  He wasn’t at all tired, just feeling slow moving as if the thoughts he’d been having were a physical tar pit that he was struggling to get through.

“Just let go,” he heard Bucky whisper so only he could hear.  Then the weight of the metal hand was gone and he could hear Bucky leaving with the rest of the group.  He finally looked up to see Nat standing opposite him and Tony standing at the mouth of the plane.  He watched as Nat walked up to him and could feel himself giving in before she said a word.

They would never pressure him into anything or push him, they always let him come around on his own.  They knew he would eventually no matter how long it took, minutes, hours, days etc. they’d wait and would be right there for him when he needed.  He could feel the tense of his shoulders and he knew if he didn’t do something he’d be pacing all night and then Tony would be upset with him for lying and he didn’t want that either.

He let out a sigh, curling his toes inside of his boots, looking up to watch Tony walk away, before looking straight, his line of vision cut off by the distinct black suit of Natasha.  She had stepped into this role pretty easily.  When he had expressed to Tony that after missions like these, in times when he was blaming himself from hell and back twice, he needed to be punished, even if that punishment was reminding him that it wasn’t his fault.  The idea of marking up Steve, painfully for that reason, wasn’t something Tony appalled.  He understood it, and wanted to Steve to have that but knew he wasn’t the one for the job.  Hickies, love bites, the occasional faint bruising of a spanking Tony could do, but hardcore punishment, whipping, verbal, that was something he couldn’t do for Steve and so he enlisted a little help.  Nat was reluctant at first but once things had been explained and discussed, by the three of them and then the team, she had agreed and the rest was history.

“Are you going to ask or am I?” Her voice was low, not whispering but low enough and he didn’t dare to look up at her.  It was one of his rules.  He only looked up at her face when he was allowed.  Even though nothing had started yet he figured it was best to adhere to his rules unless otherwise stated.  “Look at me, are you going to ask or shall I?” This time her tone was more firm, and when he looked up he could see that look in her eye, but also one of concern and question.  Not things she usually showed, but it just reminded him how much these people actually cares about an old man who was way out of his era.

“I will, ma’am.”  He took a breath and let his eyes linger on hers as he continued to speak.  “On our mission today we lost a lot of civilians.  That was my fault, I could’ve saved them, should’ve saved them from the enemy’s plot, but I was too late and... and they didn’t make it.  It was my job to get them out of there,” he slipped to his knees on the floor of the jet as he looked up at her, eyes glassy with tears of anguish, anger, and sadness.  “I failed and I need to be punished.  Will you please punish me for failing my mission?”  The words finally fell from his lips and he looked away from her eyes after that.  His hands went behind his back under his shield and his head was bowed as he closed his eyes rather than look at the floor.

“Good boy, thank you for finally asking for what you need.”  He noticed she had taken the glove off of her hand as her fingers carded through the short strands of blond hair on his head.  Grabbing a handfull she tugged, the stinging sensation panging through him deliciously as she lifted his head and made him look at her.  “Not only did you let people die, you look filthy and I won’t have you dirty up any of your instruments and toys.  You have exactly ten minutes to shower, have Tony prep you, I think ten will suffice, and meet me in  ** _your_**  room.  Pick out two ways you’d like to be punished.  If you’re late be even a few seconds your punishment will be doubled,”  She ended her instructions with a harsh yank of his hair.

“Yes, Mistress.  Thank you Mistress.”

                                                    **********

Steve hopped in the shower, letting the warm water wash away the grime and ash from their mission.  He didn’t spend long, long enough to wash himself, his hair and make sure he was truly clean, knowing Nat would punish him more if she saw even one speck of dirt after giving him, his orders.  He stepped out of the tub and was met with a warm towel and toweled off quickly.

“Captain Rogers I’m to inform you that Sir is waiting for you and you have five minutes to meet Miss Romanov.”  Steve mumbled a thanks and finished toweling himself off as quickly as possible before walking naked out of the bathroom and into he and Tony’s room.  Just as JARVIS said Tony was waiting for him on the end of the bed.  Without a word he walked over and was immediately on his knees waiting for Tony to speak.  Normally he would’ve prompted him letting him know he was short on time but words escaped him for the day and all he had was a contrite look as his eyes stayed cast downward.

“Nothing to say today?” Tony asked, before patting his knee as an indicator for Steve to lay across his knees.

“No, sir.” He muttered his head still down as he waited.  He heard Tony mumble an okay and before he had a chance to brace himself the first smack was felt and it jolted him forward a little.  The next two came quick and he let out a breath he hadn’t even known he was holding.  He could feel the heat on his ass cheeks already, hissing lightly when Tony rubbed aggressively on his ass before delivering two more smacks to his backside.  The next ones came one at a time, one on each cheek, and then two just below his ass on the juncture where ass meets thigh.  The final one was loud and had Steve letting out a sound of anguish but he managed to keep it subdued.

“Thank you sir,” He replied as he stood up, biting his lip.  He could feel the emotion coming but knew it wouldn’t come out in full force until Natasha really took it to him.  She had a way of using words that stung him far more than any hit ever could.  It was her personal specialty and she used it to get that tense knot out of his back and shoulders with an efficiency he didn’t think anyone else could manage.  He was pulled from his thoughts when he felt a kiss on his cheek, and the corner of his mouth upturned.  The smile didn’t reach anywhere near his eyes but the gesture was there and he hoped Tony knew what he was trying to convey.

“I’ll see you later, you better get out of here before you’re late,” He replied, lightly pushing Steve in the direction of the door.  The blond nodded and was out of the door, unabashed about his nakedness and onto the elevator.  

JARVIS knew exactly where to take him and the bell dinged only when he had finally made it to his room.  That’s what they called it.  Not many people came in here, in fact it was just a room it was a couple of rooms all linked together on one floor, but they were his, each one for a specific reason.  He walked into one where the room’s walls were adorned with what most people might count as weapons, but for him they were his toys, as Nat liked to call them.  They were specially hand made by Tony to be able to withstand the test and wear his super soldier body could put them through.  Especially considering the force and skill with which they needed to be wielded.  Looking around he picked up a solid reinforced wooden paddle.  It had raised indentations on one side.  They weren’t pointy enough to be spikes but they would still hurt and that’s what he wanted.  His second choice was a braided leather whip.  Tony had hand chosen the leather himself.  To the touch it was soft and supple but after he’d pressed it and braided it together to make it stronger it was one of the more harsh items in the room.

He walked out of the room and into another room, it was seemingly empty but there was a raised partition on the floor and bars all around the room and even hanging from the ceiling.  He walked over to one wall and placed the items he’d chosen on the floor in front of him.  He knelt to the floor and raised his arms up so that they laid in the shackles attached tot he bar.  His head hung low in submission as he waited.

He had no idea how long he waited, but his ears perked up when he heard the familiar leather booths and the familiar sound of leather rubbing against itself as Nat walked into the room.  He didn’t look up only changed his position in a tiny wriggling manner before settling once again.  Familiar fingers carded through now dry hair, and tugged harshly.

“You must be feeling particularly heavy on yourself today.  You chose the harshest two out of all of your toys.  You must really need some work.  That’s okay, I can handle that.”  He saw the black of her boots as she walked around him.  She clipped his hands into place and stepped back.  “JARVIS can you raise the bar so Steve is standing in position, thank you?”  No sooner than she had finished her thanks the bar was moving and Steve moved along with it until he was standing bent at a 90 degree angle.  “What’s your safe word?”

“Stars,” Steve replied.

“Now, let’s start with the fact that you think all those deaths today are your fault.  We have casualties all the time, Steve, why are these your fault?”  She asked.  Steve could hear her pacing behind him, the soft thunk of the reinforced wood against her hand was noticeable as well.  He listened to it for a few beats, letting the steady rhythm get him to a point where he could speak.

“It was my plan, we-we were supposed to go in there get them all out.  Tony was supposed to get the information, you and Clint were on henchmen killing duty, Thor, Bruce and Bucky were supposed to secure the perimeter and get rid of any stragglers, and that left Falcon and Me to deal with the hostages.  We had an escape route planned and Sam went ahead to make sure there were no complications.  He gave the all clear and we went and then there was an explosion an-- and you know the rest.”  He finished the story, could feel the tears stinging at his eyes but he wouldn’t let them fall.

“Alright, so there was an explosion, the building collapsed.  Now, how was that your fault?  Since you were able to so carefully avoid the question.”  He could hear the tone of her voice had changed and he knew no matter his answer he was in for it and he welcomed it.

“I’m in charge!  I should’ve checked myself.  Sam is a good, no great wingman but I should’ve checked the path myself.  If I had maybe I would’ve heard it and we could’ve had Tony map an alternate route.  I’m in charge, It was my plan, and I should’ve... I should’ve been able to save them.”  His voice was quiet at the end as the tears finally rolled down his cheeks.  He could’ve saved them, all of them, and now there were families out there probably getting the call that the people they hoped would finally be coming home, won’t be coming home alive.

“So you need to be punished because you killed those people Steve?  You let them die and there was nothing you could do about ?”

“Yes, Mistress.  I deserve to feel their pain.”  He replied as the first set of tears rolled from his cheeks to the floor.

“How many?” She asked, moving from his side to stand behind him.

“I’m not sure how many I deserve?” he questioned, head hanging low.

“No, I meant how many were there, Steve?  How many of the hostages didn’t make it?  I bet you learned their names too, didn’t you?  Looked through Coulson’s files on the base, see the faces of the people you would eventually fail?  How many of them did you let die?” She asked, this time he could hear the malice seeping into her voice, and this was where she shined.  Her words cutting into him deeper and lasting longer than any cut from the whip he knew she would use later.

“Yes, Mistress I learned their names.  There were twenty-five of them that didn’t make it.” He answered, his tone still full of sadness and regret.

“Good, then I think twenty-five is the perfect number and since you know all their names, after every hit I want you to say the name of one of the victims you failed.  I’ll be keeping track of the count.  Picture their faces I want you to see the look on their faces when their hero who let them die.  Safe word?”

“Yes, Mistress.  My safe word is Stars, Mistress.”  Her words cut deep into him and before she even hit him he could see the terrified looks on their faces as the wall they were walking next to exploded and then crumbled in on them.  He had tried to save them, used his bare hands to claw at the rocks but it was no use.  Her words cut him like a knife through hot butter and with the first harsh smack against his backside he cried out the first name.

The punishment continued and he went from stoic tears to a sobbing mess, it getting worse with each smack and name that flung from his lips like an anguished cry to the heavens.  ‘They trusted you Steve.’ She’d say after every name and it only made the hurt worse.  They had trusted him to get him out of there but the base and inhabitants were two steps ahead of them.  They had never meant for those hostages to be taken alive no matter what they had told the people’s families.

He cried out, as his thoughts were abruptly stopped by the throbbing pain in his ass.  It was being exacerbated with pinches and small smacks from Natasha’s hands.  She rubbed both of his ass cheeks harshly, and used her hands to smack the part of his ass where it turned into thigh.  He knew that his ass must have looked a mess of purples reds and blues, colors that wouldn’t last the night, but the soreness and pain would linger a reminder, that’s what she always went for, a lingering pain that would remind of what he was being shown with this punishment.

“Now, I’m going to ask you again, who’s fault was it that those people didn’t make it?”

“Mine, mistress.”  He sobbed out.  He could hear her tutting in disappointment.  From the side of him, through his tears, he noticed her pick up his second instrument of torture tonight.  Normally she’d not take it this far but Steve was being stubborn as usual and this was the only way to get him to see reason.  She knew, that he knew deep down inside those deaths weren’t his fault, but she’d have to coax it out of him along with a little something else.

“Lower the ceiling bar please, Jarvis?”  She asked as she walked around, and unclasped his hands from the bar in front of him.  He stumbled forward dropping to his knees, biting his lip to keep from screaming when his ass bounced off his feet.  She took his arm to help him up. “Color, Steve?”

“Green, Mistress.  Please, I want... I need to keep going, please.”  He begged.  She gave him a once over, probably trying to ferret out if he was lying.  She’d never continue on if he was lying, and she’d tell Tony which would get him into some real trouble and he didn’t want that.  Last time he’d gotten in trouble for lying Tony had withheld sex and wouldn’t let him visit any of the other no matter his urge or need.  However, he wasn’t lying and when she saw that she nodded and led him over to the bar that was now hanging low enough for to reach.  It too, had cuffs attached to it.  The red haired woman prompted him to lift his arms and clasped his wrists into place once he did.

“Lift until Steve is standing on his toes, please?” She asked, and without a moments hesitation the bar was moving.  It took a minute or two but afterwards it had been lifted so only the tips of his toes touched the floor.  It was a straining position on him but it was a better angle for her.  The entire expanse of his back was showing.  He looked up and in one of the mirrored walls could see the damage she had done to his ass with the paddle.  Dark purple bruises tinged in yellow and red bruises filled in with deep blue covered the entirety of his ass and even some on the juncture where thigh meets ass.  “We’ll start with five and then i’ll ask you again.  Every time you answer wrong it’ll be four more.”

“Yes, Mistress.”  He replied and hung his head waiting for the first sting of leather on his back.  He cried out in surprise when the crack of the whip hitting his skin jolted him forward a small bit and he had to scramble on his toes to stay in position.  Two more hits and his brain was haze of pain.  She hadn’t hit him hard enough yet to draw blood but he knew it was coming.  Whenever he chose this whip, they both knew that’s what he wanted.  To shed the same kind of blood those people had shed.  His thoughts were interrupted when he felt a hand tugging his hair, making his neck arch.  His breathing still hitching as he continued to sob.

“Who killed those people, Steve?”

“I did Mistress.  My plan failed them it was my fault.”  He cried out.  There was a humph of disdain for his answer and she moved back behind him.  Four more came, slow, feeling like fire across his back.  She came and asked him again, his answer the same, and the process continued.  

The people at the base had been two steps ahead of them.  It had been obvious, now that he had a moment to think about it, that there was no way those hostages were coming out of there alive.  He was sure now that they hadn’t intended for anyone to make it out of there alive.  They were willing to kill themselves and those people to prove a point to the world.  There were probably bombs all over that place, set to go off with the right trigger.  It was never meant to be.  The thoughts bubbled to the surface, ones he knew were buried deep, but he needed to have them pulled from him.  Shown to him in the most brutal of ways what he knew, what he had always known, that this job comes with casualties.  You can’t save everyone, Tony had reminded him of that often, but it was just something he could never get on his own.  He had lost so much, that when he had changed, become a person, a-a specimen that could withstand so much he had taken on the responsibility of saving everyone he could, he couldn’t lose anyone else he should’ve been able to save everyone.  He knew though that even he had limits, things he couldn’t do.  Saving those people from that bomb, fro their deaths, that was one of them.  The thoughts trickled around his mind like the blood dribbled down his back from where he had been struck multiple times with the whip.  The pain, like a white hot soldering on his skin.

“Who killed those people, Steve?”

“They did, Mistress.  They never intended for them or anyone else to make it out of that base alive.  They lied to those people’s families, told them they could see their loved ones again, but it wasn’t true.  Even if we hadn’t come, those people were going to be killed.  It wasn’t my fault, it was theirs... it was theirs!”  He sobbed out.  The ringing in his head was loud he didn’t even know Nat had told Jarvis to lower the bar until he was on his knees.  She unbuckled his hands and laid him out, a sobbing mess on the floor.

“Good boy, Steve, Good job.  You were really stubborn with this one but I’m glad you realized the truth.  You don’t have to take all of this on yourself every time.  Your a super soldier but you’re also a regular soldier and you know that casualties of war can come in few or in huge chunks.  We lost a lot of people today but that was just one battle and if it wasn’t for your leadership it could’ve been a lot more people and we could’ve come home empty handed.”  She said all this as she ran her fingers through his hair softly.  A stark contrast to how she had been handling him earlier.  She murmured that she’d be right be right back and in a few seconds, which felt like minutes to him she was back at his side.

“Now this is going to sting, you know that, but even a super soldier needs to get cleaned up.”  He called out in pain as she sprayed what he knew was alcohol onto his back.  It stung his already burning skin but he knew it was important to keep the wounds clean before his healing factor had time to work its magic.  He could hear her wring out a wash cloth and she began wiping down his back.  He hissed at the particularly tender areas.  He could smell the ointment she had also bought with her as she uncapped it and squirted some into her hands.  It stung as she rubbed it into the cuts and bruises on his back.  She did it as softly as possible, making sure to spread the medicated ointment everywhere, including the welts and bruises on his ass.

“You did so good, Steve.  Tony’s going to be so proud that he has such a good boy with such strong standards.  You were so good for me.”

“Thank you, Mistress."


End file.
